Season 1, Episode 1
Air date TBA
Written by Iron
Directed by Iron
Episode Guide
IPilot is the first episode of iTitan.


Scene: DiamondLady and Rath outside the classroom.

(DiamondLady): Ahem.....Rathsman? (shows the pic to her)

(RathsMan): Just a pic of Mr.Ball head stuck on an Earth Cow.

(DiamondLady): (staring at RathsMan) How many copies?

(RathsMan): (laughing) Just a 578 copies!

(DiamondLady): I'm gonna take the blame...again!

(RathsMan): That's my Girl.

(DiamondLady): Why do I even do this for you? Why don't I just leave you expelled?

(RathsMan): Which is why you are my best friend!

(DiamondLady): Okay, why are you mine?

(RathsMan): Because I'm a lovable person! (pushes a boy down)

(Boy): Oww!

Scene:The Principle alone in his office holding the picture.

(Principle): (laughing) Ha ha ha ha ha ha (stops suddenly when Mr.Ball and DiamondLady enters in) Diamy, what is this?

(DiamondLady): A picture of Mr.Ball's head stuck to a Big Fat Earth Cow-

(Mr:Ball): Shut up.

(DiamondLady): Aaah, I'm shutting up.

(Principle): You get a punishment.

(DiamondLady): Detension?

(Mr.Ball): Did you know who is taking the auditions on Saturday?

(DiamondLady): You, that's why I'm not participating-

(Mr.Ball): Correction, YOU'RE doing it for me while I enjoy my Saturday. Just tape it.

(DiamondLady): But-

(Mr.Ball): No buts, get out!

(DiamondLady): Right, but it's just a Cow.

(Mr.Ball): Out.

(DiamondLady): Right. (runs out)

(Principle): That couldn't be good-

(Mr.Ball): SHUT UP!

(Principle): Ok.

Scene:DiamondLady in her building near her apartment about to ring the bell.

(Atomixer): (hands water bottle back to DiamondLady) You dropped this!

(DiamondLady): (takes the bottle back) Thanks but you....

(Atomixer): (big grin) I was gonna walk you home from school but I couldn't find ya. Hey!

(DiamondLady): Atomixer, were you just looking out your peephole waiting for me to come home?

(Atomixer): Nohoho!

(DiamondLady): Atomixer?

(Atomixer): (lower voice) Yes...

(DiamondLady): I thought we talked about this. We can be buds but you've gotta get over this crush thing.

(Atomixer): I am over it, seriously. I'm in love with you, you just wanna be friends and I'm totally cool living with that constant pain!

(DiamondLady): Oh god...

(Atomixer): Hey, I heard you needed a camera to tape some auditions?

(DiamondLady): Yeah, but I'm just gonna use my brother's camera. (rings the doorbell)

(Ditton): Come in.

(DiamondLady): What is going on here?

(Ditton): Hey kiddo! (DiamondLady closes the door) Up here. Just taking some pics of my robot sculpture. (to robot) Smile! (takes a picture).

(DiamondLady): You know, for most 8th grade girls, if they found their 26 year old brother, dangling upside down from the ceiling, over a giant robot made of soda bottles, it'd be weird.

(Ditton): (dangling) You're saying I'm abnormal.

(DiamondLady): Do I need to say it? Come down from there before you hurt yourself!

(Ditton): No worries I've got my legs wrapped around this pipe...(falls form the ceiling) Ahhhhhh!

(DiamondLady): I can't believe you're in charge of me.

(Ditton): Please help me stand up!

(DiamondLady): (helps Ditton up) Are you okay?

(Ditton):! I dislocated my shoulder again. One sec (throws himself on the floor) Yep, that fixed her.

Ding Dong!

(Ditton): Come in.

(RathsMan): 'Sup, people.

(DiamondLady): 'Sup? You have to stop 'Supping around when people don't like to be people. Because of you my Saturday is video taping some lousy kids for the talents show.

(RathsMan): Chillax.

(DiamondLady): No I will not Chillax. You are coming with me to help me tape it.

(RathsMan): Whatever.

(Ditton): Mr.Ball again?

(DiamondLady): Yes! What does he got against Cows?

(RathsMan): Cows? I got a complain, they do not give enough milk or sit as Beef on my plate. I once tried to kidnap them but-

(DiamondLady): RathsMan, what have I told you about kidnapping?

(RathsMan): (frowning) It's bad and evil.

(DiamondLady): Good Girl.

(DiamondLady): Hey can I use your video camera?

(RathsMan): I ate it.

(Ditton): I used it as an arc reactor for my robot.

The screen fades. The next day (Saturday)-

(DiamondLady): (Opens the door and sees Atomixer with a large Video Camera, a giant shelf with items and a Pear Laptop) What is all this? I just asked for a Video Camera.

(Atomixer): I also brought you juice and a bagel!

RathsMan enters the room.

(RathsMan): Hey, you invited the doof.

(DiamondLady): Sam...

(Atomixer): Aw, man! I didn't know that was gonna be here!

(RathsMan): She. I am a she, Freddie, as in girl.

(Atomixer): Barely...

(RathsMan): (sarcastically) Oooh!

(Atomixer): You just keep your hands off my A-V equipment!

(RathsMan): You mean I can't play with the white balance on your super-dee duper-dee camcorder?

(Atomixer): (sarcastically) Ah, sure! Everyone jokes about the white balance 'til the skin tones go magenta!

(RathsMan): Ahem... DiamondLady will never love you.

(Atomixer): THAT'S IT! I'm takin' my stuff and goin' home! [Starts to pack stuff before DiamondLady says something to him]

(DiamondLady): (smiles at Freddie) Please stay...

(Atomixer): Okay!

(DiamondLady): Good. Now let the Auditions begin.

Atomixer starts his Camera.

(Atomixer): In 5, 4, 3, 2...

A Pyronite comes in.

(Unnamed Pyronite): 'Ello, I'm Volcan, I will now show you how to play a guitar. Hand me a guitar.

(RathsMan): Ugh. (throws a guitar)

(Volcan): Yes, now I will show you my true talent. (catches the guitar and it burns)

(RathsMan): (emotionless) Yay. NEXT!

(DiamondLady): Now lets see, (reads a paper) XLR9, come in I guess and do your...........lecture?

(XLR9): Now listen to me closely. I am XLR9, and you are audience who sit here wasting my time. Now, let me tell you about Science. Science is nothing but a 7 letter word that means the intellectual and practical activity encompassing the systematic study of the structure and behaviour of the physical and natural world through observation and experiment. Science is used by various brain fulled aliens wishing to science everyone in the world and-

(DiamondLady): OMG, that's enough. what do you think, RathsMan?

DiamondLady sees RathsMan sleeping.

(DiamondLady): Next. (hits RathsMan on her head) Wake up. Mr.Ball will be angry.

(RathsMan): That chicken wouldn't mind if I sleep.

(DiamondLady): Not my point.

(RathsMan): Not my Point either.

(DiamondLady): Hey did you just call Mr.Ball a Ball?

(RathsMan): Yup, good night!

(DiamondLady): Hey just because he stores fat inside his...well, fat dosen't mean he is weird...wait, he is kinda weird.

Atomixer points his camera a DiamondLady and RathsMan.

(RathsMan): Gimme a break, that fatso eats everytime. Once for a class party he ate everyone's snacks and ended up in the Hospital for 2 Years.

(DiamondLady): I wonder what he did in the Hospital.

(RatsMan): Ooh, I know. Eating the Doctors.

(DiamondLady): (laughs) And maybe stored X-tra X-Rays in him! (laughs again)

The screen fades out. The next day-

(RathsMan): (wakes up) I have a lot of home work.......

(DiamondLady): (wakes up) Yeah me too, Mrs.Boogey-Lantern gave us a load of work.

(RathsMan): Hey you coming to the Video Game Fair tonight?

(DiamondLady): Didn't you just say you have a lot of homework.

(RathsMan): Yeah, but I didn't say I was gonna do it.

(DiamondLady): (opening her Pear Laptop) Let's just see if Atomixer uploaded the auditions on Splash Face, Mr.Ball's gonna check there. (opens SplashFace) Oh my God!

(RathsMan): What's up?

(DiamondLady): Atomixer had uploaded us making fun of Mr.Ball's Big Fat Body and not the auditions!

(RathsMan): Okay, okay! Chillax. Look. See the view count? Only 15 people have clicked on it.

(DiamondLady): Oh, Okay. (silence......DiamondLady observes the web page) (calmly) Rathsman,-

(RathsMan): Yeah?

(DiamondLady): (freaked out) THAT'S 15 MILLION!

(RathsMan): (get back to her sofa) Yeah no way Mr.Ball would have seen it. He must have went to Church.

(DiamondLady): What kind of a Church would let Mr.Ball in?

RathsMan goes out of the apartment and breaks Atomixer's door and come back dragging him on his foot.

(Atomixer): Let go of my foot, Medusa! What is the matter with you?

(DiamondLady): Why'd you film us yesterday?

(Atomixer): Oh, 'cause you guys were being hilarious.

(RathsMan): Well too bad you're getting a Slap. (slaps him)

(Atomixer): (walking over to the computer) I edited you guys out before I uploaded the auditions.

(DiamondLady): No you didn't.

(Atomixer): (searching SplashFace) Oh come on, there's no way I... (realising they were right) Uh-oh!

(DiamondLady): TAKE US OFF THE SITE! Oh this is so not good! anyone anyone in the world can just click and hear everything we did and said today. And if Mr.Ball-

(Atomixer): Hah got it! it's says at your request this video will be removed-

(DiamondLady and RathsMan): (sighing) FFIINNAALLYY!

(Atomixer): -tomorrow evenging.

(DiamondLady): AAAAAAAAAAAH!

(Atomixer): C'mon, we got a thousand good reviews.

(DiamondLady): Really?

(Atomixer): Yeah, BenTennyson243 says "AWESOME and lol :D", Smurfs say "WOW, we want more of DiamondLady and RathsMan", HanselNotGratel201 says "OMG, start a Web Show"-

(DiamondLady): Not the point, what if Mr.Ball sees this? What will happen to us and him?

(RathsMan): To us, we will be murdering Atomixy. To him, he'll join the Gym soon.